Life, the University, and Everything

Spring break is... almost... over. Flying back bright and early (early, anyway) Monday morning. ETA at Roble: 4pm PST (7pm EST).

Break was fun while it lasted. I had fun with old buddies. I got some substantive stuff done (updating resume, applying for internships, going through my shelves so my bedroom can be relocated).

The weather's actually pretty nice here in Maryland. I expect it'll be a bit hot in Palo Alto, but nothing I can't handle :-).

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A married couple has been stranded on a deserted island for several years. One day another man washes up to shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to try to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is thrilled to see the second man there. “Now we will be able to have 3 people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower, instead of 12-hour shifts for 2 people."

The newcomer is only too happy to help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to cook in. The newcomer yells down, “Hey, no screwing!" They yell back, “We’re not screwing!”

A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the newcomer yells, “Hey, I said no screwing!” Again they yell back, “We’re not screwing!” Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the newcomer yells down, “For the last time, stop screwing!” They yell back, “We are NOT screwing!”

Eventually the shift is over and the husband climbs up to replace the newcomer. He’s not even at the top before the wife and the man are hard at it. The husband looks down, squints, and says, “Son-of-a-gun. From up here, it DOES look like they’re screwing.”

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This made my day.

ulo3rix: um, hoff... was reading your blog because i saw it in your profile & was like, Ooh, something to do for 10 minutes before i start thinking about going to bed ridiculously early... and anyway it says that youre "jeremy newman." now i am horribly confused.
JeremyHoffman03: success!
ulo3rix: ?
ulo3rix: whats all that now?
ulo3rix: are you trying to find out how many people read it?
JeremyHoffman03: goal: create minor confusion through deception and blatant falsehood
ulo3rix: ha ha
ulo3rix: ok, there we go
ulo3rix: and i thought i had the wrong jeremy... until i saw the picture that you have on your desktop
JeremyHoffman03: ah yea
ulo3rix: hmm... i would say that you were a horrible person, but its actually slightly funny

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Spring break! Whoooooo.

I love being able to read science fiction instead of college-level stuff for a break. Reading Michael Crichton's Sphere, picked up in the Phoenix airport on the way home, and it's very good.

My week is up in the air right now but is slowly becoming cemented... So nice having no work to do!

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I really like this song, "Four Chord Wonder" by the Ataris. (The son's a 1-5-6-4 chord progression.) The lyrics:

How many bands have wrote this song before?
I can name at least fifty...
I bet you could name a hundred more.
There's over a couple thousand
chord progressions around.
Whill someone tell me who decided
they'd run this one into the ground?!

(Chorus)
I'm putting a stop to it once and for all!
I'm putting my fist right though the wall!
I'm telling you once and for all...
You better not write this stupid song again!

"I've got a little plan, so listen up.
We could write a four chord wonder,
and make a million bucks!"

No need to mention names
cause' you know who you are.
Take word of my advice
or I'll break your guitar!
I think it's time to set things straight...
I just wrote the song I hate.
And, I'll write it again and again and again


Songs I can name with this progression off the top of my head:
SR-71: Right Now, Politically Correct (the first two tracks on their first CD... how blatant!)
Offspring: Want You Bad (close; it's 1-6-5-4 and 1-5-4-6-5), One Fine Day (also close; it's 4-5-1-6)
Blink-182: Dammit
Green Day: When I Come Around
Jimmy Eat World: A Praise Chorus (close; it's 4-5-6-1 and 1-6-5-1), Authority Song (5-6-1-4)

Who can think of more?

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I just realized that my name doesn't really show up on this blog (at least, not prominently; all there is is "posted by Jeremy" at the bottom of each post). This seems to be S.O.P. for blogs, but is that really the best system? What if someone wasn't sure who they were reading about? That'd be a needless annoyance to them.

So, to remove any chance of ambiguity or confusion: My name is Jeremy Newman. I am a freshman at Stanford, and I live in Roble Hall.

It's good to finally clear things up. ;-)

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Idle thought:

It seems that the 2004 presidential campaign will come down to this portrayal: Bush is stubborn, but has strong core beliefs; Kerry is dynamic, but is a flip-flopper. Some people want a steadfast, idealistic president who knows right from wrong. Others (myself included) want a reasoning, flexible president who sees more nuances and changes his mind sometimes.

So, the deciding question to the American public:

Which is better: firm beliefs or flexible beliefs?

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My cousin Daniel is a mad awesome artist. He drew this:



And he's still a little (relative to an ancient college student) kid.

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Q.o.t.D.:

One indignant person is a whiner. But a lot of indignant people is an activist movement.

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Note to self: post a rant about a stupid thing I got in the mail.

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QotD:

"If AIDS is God's punishment to homosexuals, then lesbians must be the chosen people of God."

(Of all the demographic categories, lesbians have the lowest incidence of AIDS.)

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Take the Homestar Runner Character Quiz by Coach Vee!

That's interesting... I didn't even remember Pom Pom as a character. Well, at least I didn't get Strong Sad or the Poopsmith.

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Wow, I find this hilarious. Look at the bottom of a Salon.com article, Salon.com News | Bush unveils negative ads vs. Kerry for example.

This is what I see at the bottom:


If it were any more ironic, it would attract magnets.

Conversation o.t.D.:
Belxiche: I have developed a burning hatred of number theory.
JeremyHoffman03: heh
JeremyHoffman03: I DONT CARE IF THE NUMBER IS FUCKING PRIME
JeremyHoffman03: for every X, shove X up your ass
Belxiche: Exactly.

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Jared sent me this link to the trailer for "Thirteen, Going on Thirty".

Sagoff3: WORST MOVIE EVER
JeremyHoffman03: hmm
JeremyHoffman03: i'll have to make room in my busy schedule
JeremyHoffman03: to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE
Sagoff3: hahahaa

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Wow, some people are just morons: CNN.com - $1 million bill leads to arrest.

What the hell was she thinking? The supermarket cashier was going to give her $998,000 change for her million dollar bill?

Just to clarify, the US Treasury does not in fact print $1 million bills.

This woman is the sort of person to which Strong Bad's quote about Homestar Runner so perfectly applies:
"We killed him because he was so stupid that we had to shoot him to keep him from being even more stupid."

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This is funny enough to copy outright... From my good old friend Kevin's blog:
Names deleted again to protect the guilty.
1: "I really think you should go up and help [anon] with her homework."
2: "Heh, no. She's the reason I'm not doing it."
1: "I really think you should go UP THERE and HELP her with that HOMEWORK."
2: "No, she just wants to copy off me, that's not cool."
1: "Dammit, can I make this any more thinly veiled? [pause] Look, take this condom and go HELP HER with her HOMEWORK!"

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I can't believe it. 26-1.

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STANFORD CARDINAL. 26-0. BOO YA.

Tonight's basketball game against Washington State was even more insane than the "instant ESPN Classic" game against Arizona earlier in the season. Stanford was down by five with about 20 seconds left. Then three incredible things happen:
1) We make a 3-pointer and get fouled, giving the player a free-throw, which he makes (it's now a one point game with 17 seconds left).
2) Washington now gets the ball, but takes five seconds without passing the ball inbounds (or calling a timeout, which they easily could have done). Stanford is given the ball.
3) Stanford now has 17 seconds to score one basket and win the game, or lose the ball and the game. Stanford's basket needs to be the last shot of the game, so the clock is killed for a few seconds. Then with 10 seconds left, the Cardinal player drops the ball. It's rolling along the ground and people are fighting over it. With six seconds, a Stanford player has the ball but is totally surrounded. He spins frantically for a few seconds, apparently panicking. With only a few seconds left, he still hasn't found a way to make a shot. In desperation, he passes back out to a player several feet outside the three-point line. With two seconds left, and his momentum going backwards, he makes the three.

Stanford 63. Wash State 61.

One game left in regular season, and Stanford will have a [you know what].

In political news:

I find this article interesting: John Kerry's Waffles - If you don't like the Democratic nominee's views, just wait a week.

Kerry will have to present a strong defense of his seemingly inconsistent record. Of course, Bush's stubborn self-righteousness is one of the things I don't like about him. What's worse: a misguided idealogue or a flip-flopping politician?

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Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Percy? Well that friggin sucks. He's a rat bastard, that Percy.... He better be on his knees in Harry Potter 6, after what happened in book 5.

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