Life, the University, and Everything

Quote of the day:
"What did people do before they had Pepto Bismol? Just shit in their pants all day?"

---

Yes, I plan to enter a career as a designer of museum exhibits. (Hey, that's actually sorta what my dad does. Heh.)

[17:24] lordtorgamus: Air and Space's new center
[17:24] lordtorgamus: missed two opportunities to go so far
[17:24] lordtorgamus: tomorrow will be #3
[17:24] JeremyHoffman03: what's in it?
[17:24] JeremyHoffman03: the new center
[17:25] lordtorgamus: all manner of planes
[17:25] lordtorgamus: from the Wright brothers' Flyer to the space shuttle Enterprise
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: hehe
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: cool
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: how about...
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: From the Paper Airplane to the Starship Enterprise
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: that'd be my exibit
[17:26] lordtorgamus: haha
[17:26] lordtorgamus: two points for Jeremy
[17:26] JeremyHoffman03: yay

---

I saw Return of the King last Sunday. I visited Blair on Monday.

But since I was soo busy this week doing jack squat (well, besides Christmas), I didn't write anything about either.

On the home front, it is so weird to spend a Saturday night doing nothing. Now I feel homesick for college, where there's no question that you're doing something on the weekend.

I'll be back soon enough--one week from today. Then I can go back to regular homesick-for-home. (Yea, right.)

---

I finished the book, Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. It was pretty cool. Futuristic America where suburb gated communities have broken off into sovereign nations, the Mafia is more powerful than the Feds, and people do all sorts of fun stuff on the 3D virtual reality Multiverse. The main character is a hacker slash pizza deliverator (sic) slash master sword fighter. The book had a bit more Sumerian mythology than I would have preferred, but it tied in pretty well.

I'm going to see LOTR: The Return of the King on Sunday with a group from Blair. I had sorta planned to see it once before that, but it'll probably end up being my first viewing instead of my second.

Next Monday, I'm going with a group (same group? there's some overlap, I guess ;-)) to visit Blair. It'll be cool to see my old teachers again. It wasn't that long ago I was taking AP Physics and English 12...

Hmm. Yes it was.

---

It's Roble. It's sorta funny. Yay Mike Lazar.

http://homepage.mac.com/mglazar/iMovieTheater3.html

---

Exams are over and I'm back in Maryland. Much excitement ensues. And by excitement, I mean sweet, sweet rest and relaxation. It's good to be able to read a nice SCI FI NOVEL instead of political treatises. (Aside: In one afternoon, I find out Megan listens to the White Stripes and reads science fiction? Amazing how many weeks you can live 20 yards from someone and not discover common interests.)

I need to start making plans. By which I mean sleep. And visit friends graduated and still in high school. And see LOTR: Return of the King. Twice.

---

[16:50] PatrickJan16: apparently saddam likes Bounty bars and 7-UP. ooh, that's bad publicity....
[16:57] JeremyHoffman03: hah
[16:57] JeremyHoffman03: Make 7, Up Yours, Saddam.
[16:58] PatrickJan16: lol
[16:58] PatrickJan16: apparently the bounty on his head wasn't enough for him...
[16:59] JeremyHoffman03: haha
[16:59] JeremyHoffman03: it's a pun!

---

[20:29] JeremyHoffman03: i gotta put some wet clothes in the drier
[20:29] JeremyHoffman03: bbiab
[20:29] JeremyHoffman03: then tell me about it :-)
[20:29] EmpSg59: k
[21:01] JeremyHoffman03: back
[21:01] EmpSg59: well, as I was saying
[21:01] EmpSg59: that's when the purple monkey robot arrived
[21:02] EmpSg59: quite an interesting story, actually
[21:02] JeremyHoffman03: :-)

---

Exam week. BLAAAAA.

Third and last final in 50 minutes.

Exams at 8:30 AM are bad.

Especially two on back-to-back days.

Stanford Housing is fricking obnoxious enough to kick us out of our dorms at 11:59 AM tomorrow (Satuday) morning, less than 24 hours after the last exam. Literally kick us out, they change the outside locks and then sweep the halls, and give you a ticket if they catch you inside.

I fly back home tomorrow night. I've got over a week to visit Blair this time :-). [December 23? Ouch. ;-)]

---

Behold my diverse conversational skills:

[15:20] JeremyHoffman03: i just finished and turned in my final paper for PWR
[15:22] nebula58611: nice
[15:22] JeremyHoffman03: eh

[15:19] slntjstc: what course?
[15:20] JeremyHoffman03: program in writing and rhetoric
[15:21] JeremyHoffman03: it satisfies the first half of my writing requirement
[15:22] slntjstc: ah. yes. distribution requirements. good things to fulfill
[15:22] JeremyHoffman03: eh

I was in a groove at 3:22 :-).

---

Tova brought the hall donuts tonight, making her the greatest hallmate... EVER.

(note: I really can't sing, even on AIM)

JeremyHoffman03: mmm... sugar
JeremyHoffman03: such a piece of shit, piece of shit. i really need to rewrite it MY CONCLUSION
JeremyHoffman03: muh muh muh my, my, my, my, uh. muh muh muh myyy conclusion
JeremyHoffman03: it's My Sharona? get it?
precioustova: haha
precioustova: u crack me up
precioustova: no more sugar for u

---

Heheheh... miserable failure...

Miserable Failure? Google Trick Says It's Bush

JeremyHoffman03: would it make any difference if i linked "miserable failure"?
LABlue24: linked it where?
JeremyHoffman03: on my blog
JeremyHoffman03: it seems that's what people do
LABlue24: ah
LABlue24: it would be funny, though many people know about it
LABlue24: of course
JeremyHoffman03: i dunno if google will make it to my blog :-)
LABlue24: Bush's top secret evil republican ninja/spy/oil-tycoon/assassins might kill you in your sleep
JeremyHoffman03: crap
LABlue24: =p
JeremyHoffman03: well, if they do
JeremyHoffman03: i will definately not order A Mun S A Kuwait-Iraq
LABlue24: lol

(Context: I'm playing the board game Diplomacy by email. I'm Germany, LABlue is Turkey. A Mun S A Kuwait-Iraq is shorthand for "The army in Munich supports the army in Kuwait in its attack into Iraq." In other words, if the Bush Administration kills me, I won't give them Germany's assistance in Iraq. Silly, I know, but it was funny in the moment.)

---

darwinfish03: nice icon
JeremyHoffman03: what is it now?
JeremyHoffman03: oh yea
JeremyHoffman03: Ishan
JeremyHoffman03: 's shade
darwinfish03: yeah
JeremyHoffman03: amazing how everyone remembers that guy
JeremyHoffman03: he was cool
JeremyHoffman03: :-)
darwinfish03: yeah
darwinfish03: but bad
JeremyHoffman03: 5/5 prowhite for 3BBB?
JeremyHoffman03: but so cool
[looks up the card]
JeremyHoffman03: oh its
JeremyHoffman03: Ihsan's Shade
JeremyHoffman03: such awesome flavor text
JeremyHoffman03: horaay for uncommon legends!
darwinfish03: lol
JeremyHoffman03: "Ihsan, the weak. Ihsan, the fallen. Ihsan, the betrayer. He has brought shame to the Serra Paladins where none existed before. May his suffering equal his betrayal." -Baris, Serra Inquisitor
JeremyHoffman03: they don't make flavor text like that anymore
JeremyHoffman03: Ihsan's Shade 2k3:
JeremyHoffman03: "When goblins see him, they pee their pants."
darwinfish03: lol
darwinfish03: too true
darwinfish03: but more like
darwinfish03: "When goblins see him, they would pee in their pants. Of course, they would have to invent pants first."
JeremyHoffman03: hahahahaha

---

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tech support: how may i help you?
customer: my computer won't turn on.
TS: what happens when you push the button?
C: nothing.
TS: did you check to see if its plugged in?
C: good idea, let me get a flashlight.
TS: why do you need a flashlight?
C: because the power is off and i need to see under the desk.
TS: (sigh) ok sir, here's what you need to do. Do you still have the boxes that your computer came in?
C: yeah, why?
TS: You need to pack up the computer and ship it back to me.
C: why? is it something serious?
TS: not really, its just that you're too fucking stupid to use a computer.

---

Secret Snowflake was pretty hilarious. Even being forced to do it as a variety show at 10:00 in the dorms, instead of randomly at meals throughout the day, it was great.

My picks for the best "assignment" of each night:

Monday: The sisyphean task of building and rebuilding a pyramid of soda cans as people kept knocking it down.

Tuesday: The sumo wrestling fight between Amir the mammoth football player (he quite fittingly was the Hulk for Holloween) and Carling the petite girl.
Round 1: Amir runs into Carling. Carling attempts to distract him by sorta flashing him. He apparently doesn't notice; smacks her with torso. She goes flying.
Round 2: Amir runs at Carling. Carling dives between his legs. People applaud, although they are wondering if that was staged (it wasn't).
Round 3: Amir stands and taunts Carling. Carling bowls into Amir. A loud resounding SMACK results, and Carling goes down.

Somewhat-related inside-joke-ish quote: "The bandaids really hurt coming off." (paraphrased because I have poor short-term memory after midnight)

honorable mention: Angel's Female Sexuality 101 lesson.

Wednesday: A creative interpretation of "I'm a Little Teapot." I will never be able to watch five-year-olds sign that song again.
(Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.)
Victim: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my--"
Guy in boxers: "Here's my spout!"
Victim: "--spout. When I get all steamed up--"
Guy in boxers: "Oh, yea, we're steamed up"
Victim: "--here me shout: Tip me over--"
Guy in boxers: "That's right, bend over, bitch!"
Victim: "--and pour me out."

honorable mention: The RA's ripoff of The Weakest Link. Funny moments included the host, Kevin, asking (if i remember correctly) Angel, "What the is the name of the ResEd staff member in 1B, besides Kevin?" Angel couldn't remember. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that our PHE, Dina, who lives in 1B, was sitting right next to Angel and had just answered the last question.

Quote from a dating show assisgment (I really wish this were out of context, but it's not): "Well, I think I'd get one of your friends . . . and invite two other guys . . . for a good orifice-to-dick ratio."

---

Well, classes are officially done. Exams are next week. Let the studying begin.

My game of email Diplomacy with six other students just got very interesting. I'm Germany, and Austria and Russia decided to attack me in the Spring of 1901.

I've played Germany three out the four games I've ever played, including this one (although I didn't play the previous three even close to completion) . . . THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME!

So I'd like to give a big "go eff yourselves" to all the Austrians and Russians out there. :-P

---

I just added reader commenting ability to my blog. Awesome!

---

My connecting flight from Phoenix to San Francisco yesterday afternoon was delayed over three hours due to... fog. In San Francisco. Whouda thunk it.

Luckily, I made it home through the cold and the rain in style and comfort. The nice mother and daughter sitting next to me found out I was going back to Stanford, and since they live in Palo Alto, they offered to give me a ride.

It's good to have friends in Palo Alto :-).

So, thanks Shira and her mom!

Quotes of the Day, taken without permission from Shira's AIM profile:

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will." -- Bush

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." --Ellen Degeneres

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." --Robin Williams

"In the beginning there was nothing and God said "Let there be light", and there was still nothing but everyone could see it." --Dave Thomas

---

Maybe I should have chosen MIT after all ;-).

(from Kevin's blog)

angeIstina: BUBBLE WRAP!
stina: oh man
stina: so much fun
Lord Torgamus: oh god
Torg: so glad MIT rejected me
stina: .....

angeIstina: "to be or not to be. that is the root of 4b^2"
stina: haha
Lord Torgamus: .
Torg: .
Torg: .
stina: :-D

---